My Take on the 9/11 Tribute - PTSD

With all of the tributes for 9/11 going on this week, it made me feel like I should do something via the blog to pay my respects as well.  Two things have been coming to mind pretty frequently regarding this historic event.  I remember it so clearly, and it's so hard for me to believe that it has been 10 years since this tragedy took place.  I was getting ready for work when the first plane hit the towers.  All the news coverage commented on it like it was a horrible accident.  Then, as well all watched in horror, the second plane hit the other tower.  At that point, we knew something was not right.  I remember rushing to work to tell the others who might not have heard.  We pulled a little TV into the front area of the office and sat there together watching the news unfold for several hours.  I was just a couple of months pregnant at the time and kept thinking, what am I doing bringing a child into this world?  At that point, we had no idea what our future would hold.

Now, 10 years later, most of us have moved on.  Life kept going and we kept going with it.  But for many of those who were at or near ground zero or the Pentagon, life did not keep going.  It stopped.  For some, I would wager, life as they knew it still has not returned to any semblance of normal.  And some of that may be due to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, commonly known as PTSD.  Most think of PTSD when they think of war veterans who are forever changed by their circumstances.  But PTSD can be found in people who've experienced a wide variety of traumatic events, including those who were on hand to experience the attacks on 9/11.  And there have been many more traumatic events throughout this country in the years before and since.  Hurricanes, flooding, massive tornados, earthquakes, violence, and the list goes on and on.  Something we need to understand is that people who are afflicted with PTSD can't just "get over it" like we wish they would.  It takes not just time, but therapy to address the traumatic events, and this can be a long and difficult process.  Individuals dealing with PTSD wish it would go away, and they need our support, encouragement, and patience as they find their way back to "normal," however that is defined for them.  For many, it's just one day at a time. 

We also need to recognize that children are affected by trauma as well, even the very youngest of children.  What often happens is that young children who have been negatively affected by traumatic events tend to display symptoms similar to that of ADHD or oppositional defiant disorder.  And therefore are treated for these disorders, rather than addressing the trauma that they have experienced.  The southern chapter of the Illinois Association for Infant Mental Health, of which I am a member, has been working recently to provide information to flood victims on how that experience may affect their young children and ways to help them deal with their fears of water.  If you would like more information on this, please comment or email me and I'll be happy to share!  Ultimately, whether an adult or child, if someone you love has experienced an event that was traumatic for them and they are having difficulty dealing with it over a long period, or you are seeing dramatic changes in behavior or mood, seek help.

Images from Photobucket.com

The second thing that I have been thinking about while reading and watching all of the various 9/11 tributes for those who died relates to the common theme of "Never Forget."  Now while I agree that it is important that those who lost loved ones never forget those lost, and that America should never forget what happened that fateful day, we also cannot live in the past.  The greatest tribute we can give to those who are gone is that we keep on living.  That we live our lives to our greatest potential.  That we continue to strive to make this country even better, even safer.  That we learn from our mistakes and keep growing.  That we pray for one another and for our country.  And, as Walt Disney said in one of his famous quotes, that we "keep moving forward."

A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes

Today, while I was visiting with some former co-workers and good friends, the subject of "dreams" came up.  We were talking and my son, Payton, said that he thought I should go back to working there full time (he loves the place).  My good friend said to him, "I would love that, but your mommy has worked very hard to fulfill her dream of becoming a therapist, and I wouldn't want to get in the way of that dream."  They talked for a while about her dreams and his dreams for the future. 

Then tonight, he and I spent some time watching "America's Got Talent" together.  Now mind you, I typically hate these shows, but they were finally in the semi-finals so really all the acts were pretty good.  Watching these people talk about living out their dreams seemed to continue the theme for the day.

So once my guys were in bed and I had a little quiet time to myself, all I could think was, "Am I following my dream? What is my dream?"  At one point in time, it really was to be a therapist, but is it still? 

To me, that beautiful song I used as a title for this post says it all.  A dream is a wish your heart makes.  If something is your "dream" it should come from your heart.  Over time, no matter what has happened or changed in your life, if it is a true dream, it should tug at your heartstrings and make you want it all the more.  Your dream should be your passion.

All too often I think we shape our dreams around something other than our heart's deepest wishes.  It's my dream to do ________, because it will make me a lot of money.  It's my dream to do _________, because it will make my family proud.  It's my dream to become a __________, because then I can take my family around the world.  It's my dream to do ________, because really what else can I do?

Now is making money, making your family proud, or taking your family around the world necessarily a bad thing?  Of course not!  But is that how you choose your dreams?  I hope not.

And do we only get one dream?  Boy I hope not, because if so, I'm in deep trouble!  I remember in elementary school, my dream was to become an astronaut.  I wanted to be a shuttle commander.  I don't know how many times I had watched the movie "Space Camp" during that time frame.  It was all I wanted in the world.  Of course now you know, if you read my cruise report, I get terrible motion sickness.  I also happen to have developed a bit of a fear of heights.  Space is probably not the best place for me!

But I have to say, I have always envied people who have known their dream all their life, pursued it, attained it, and then have been contented with it.  Another friend I visited with today told me that her son, who is in college this year, will probably only go for two years because that's all he needs to do the job he wants to do.  A job, in fact, that he's already doing (to an extent) and that he's always wanted to do.  And he's as happy as he can be.  What I wouldn't give to have that kind of focus. 

Every now and then we are forced to really look at our dreams and decide if that's truly what we want for our lives.  I read an article on the Disney Driven Life website a few nights ago that talked about getting a "kick in the teeth" and it shared this quote from Walt Disney:  “All the adversity I’ve had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me… You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.”

After reading that all I could think was how appropriate it is for me.  If you've read my trip report from the beginning, I mentioned that I needed our vacation more than ever due to work and financial related issues.  Bottom line, I lost my job.  I still don't have a 9-5 full time job.  But I have started a private therapy practice.  And I'm working to expand it and provide more specialized services.  But I can't help but wonder if the lesson in all of this is that it's time to not just do a job to pay the bills but it's time to follow my heart and pursue my passion in life, whatever that is?!?!

So as I sit here tonight writing this post, I have some serious soul searching to do.  What is my dream?  Right now, I don't know.  I think I stopped listening to my heart's wishes a while ago.   Not that what I do is not important or not a good plan for me, but if it's not my dream, then I need to find a way to pursue my dreams too.  Do you have a dream?  Are you pursuing it?  What are you passionate about?  Whatever it may be, don't let anything stand in the way of working toward that dream. 

"No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true."

It All Started with an Office...

Any time I've started a new job, one of the first things I always have to find out is if I'm allowed to decorate my office.  Having a mother who is an interior designer means I know very well how important a fabulous office environment is to productivity and happiness on the job.  Needless to say, she and I have decorated more than our fair share of offices!  So, when I began my latest adventure as a Program Supervisor and Therapist in a new outpatient counseling division, naturally, it was time to decorate a new office.  I had a beautiful canvas to work with...a second story office with four nice windows having fantastic views, a larger than average space and hard wood flooring.  The walls were also a very light cream, so no primer necessary!  So with the basics in place, what would inspire this office?
Well, it turns out that Mom & I took our first girls only trip to Walt Disney World in the fall of 2008.  During that trip, we visited "One Man's Dream" at Disney's Hollywood Studios.  It was that look into Walt Disney's life, and a picture of his office, that in turn inspired mine.

After much careful study of this photo, as well as others I had found on the internet showing different angles of the office, Mom decided that we needed to go with a mid-century modern meets contemporary design.  I decided that it needed both subtle and obvious Disney references.  Well, here's what we put together...

So, how did we do?  The retro chairs and circle patterns of course play to that mid-century modern look.  The desk and chairs are on an angle, similar to Walt's office, and there are filing cabinets behind the desk, in place of the drafting table.  Some of the more obvious Disney references are the large picture wall, of course, and the clock collection.  None of the six clocks are on Central Time (current time here).  They tell me the time in Anaheim, Orlando, Tokyo, Paris, Hong Kong, & Hawaii...all references to Disney Parks and Resorts...meaning I'm always on Disney time!!

Just a few more little touches, for fun.  A very dear friend gave me the sign with Walt's quote, "If you can dream it, you can do it."  This is something that I try very hard to live by and to instill in my clients.  When they give up dreaming, they give up hope for the future.  And hope is a core component of healing.
So far, all of my clients love my office, and they all seem to love it for different reasons.  Many of them catch the Disney references right away, and it seems to put them at ease.  Many say it just feels good in my office, cozy and comfortable.  To me, it's my home away from home (the real one & the Disney one!).